Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
