it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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