But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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