your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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