I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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