How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
