why didn't you poke me back
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize