Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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