I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
