you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
