also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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