were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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