i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
