She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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