If i come over, it means nothing
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
