Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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