The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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