You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
