i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
