69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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