He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Randomize
