After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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