im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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