i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
