i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I believe in your delicious
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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