All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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