I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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