Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
they're like a gay fantastic four
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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