we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
