i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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