i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
