She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
