he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The air was thick with penises
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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