How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
