could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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