that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
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Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
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I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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