I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
