I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
