So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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