I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
