i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
