Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
