shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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