Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
