what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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