Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka