Texts From Last Night

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  (813): View more from Florida

  you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?

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  (813): you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you? http://tfl.nu/35zi
  Replies (12) Good night (2998) Bad night (1075)
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  (949): View more from California

  Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.

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  (949): Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off. http://tfl.nu/n7xz
  Replies (18) Good night (772) Bad night (4845)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot

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  (517): every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot http://tfl.nu/9euo
  Replies (41) Good night (983) Bad night (2084)
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  (716): View more from New York

  since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?

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  (716): since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night? http://tfl.nu/hysj
  Replies (85) Good night (1917) Bad night (7108)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?

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  (317): Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader? http://tfl.nu/orgq
  Replies (31) Good night (8267) Bad night (2103)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?

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  (203): What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face? http://tfl.nu/dot3
  Replies (57) Good night (4224) Bad night (1786)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog

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  (713): It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog http://tfl.nu/4hna
  Replies (2) Good night (1092) Bad night (3501)
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  (805): View more from California

  I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship

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  (805): I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship http://tfl.nu/l6zt
  Replies (2) Good night (1582) Bad night (757)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes

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  (717): They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes http://tfl.nu/nt6q
  Replies (4) Good night (1683) Bad night (663)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.

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  (712): I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex. http://tfl.nu/brxy
  Replies (3) Good night (1155) Bad night (472)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music

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  (787): They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music http://tfl.nu/mg50
  Replies (9) Good night (1419) Bad night (499)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  My vag hurts but I feel vindicated

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  That is an interesting emotion combo

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  (609): My vag hurts but I feel vindicated (832): That is an interesting emotion combo http://tfl.nu/j6ty
  Replies (1) Good night (742) Bad night (377)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.

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  (765): If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself. http://tfl.nu/9sig
  Replies (0) Good night (486) Bad night (312)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.

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  (513): I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled. http://tfl.nu/l7r8
  Replies (8) Good night (1072) Bad night (314)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.

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  (309): Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life. http://tfl.nu/8a2u
  Replies (0) Good night (386) Bad night (156)

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