I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch