apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
