I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents