do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
