Texts From Last Night

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  (802): View more from Vermont

  he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him

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  (802): he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him http://tfl.nu/grpf
  Replies (14) Good night (631) Bad night (4983) Order T-Shirt
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"

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  (478): yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way" http://tfl.nu/67ib
  Replies (8) Good night (4412) Bad night (667) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".

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  (317): he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it". http://tfl.nu/vthr
  Replies (31) Good night (6569) Bad night (612) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.

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  (440): He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am. http://tfl.nu/6rv7
  Replies (13) Good night (4054) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven

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  (804): just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven http://tfl.nu/wd21
  Replies (3) Good night (2216) Bad night (652) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."

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  (816): Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid." http://tfl.nu/chp6
  Replies (7) Good night (2421) Bad night (1065) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.

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  (609): My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance. http://tfl.nu/4x77
  Replies (8) Good night (871) Bad night (2454) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?

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  (703): What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'? http://tfl.nu/3ece
  Replies (12) Good night (2260) Bad night (928) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.

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  (613): I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another. http://tfl.nu/23d2
  Replies (10) Good night (1108) Bad night (1817) Order T-Shirt
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  (848): View more from New Jersey

  Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You live a charmed life.

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  (848): Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left. (732): You live a charmed life. http://tfl.nu/9usd
  Replies (8) Good night (2008) Bad night (469)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish

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  (210): I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish http://tfl.nu/kpto
  Replies (10) Good night (878) Bad night (298) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight

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  (816): the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight http://tfl.nu/st8j
  Replies (3) Good night (1585) Bad night (191) Order T-Shirt
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.

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  (615): There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%. http://tfl.nu/531s
  Replies (3) Good night (676) Bad night (204)
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  (209): View more from California

  My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.

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  (209): My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it. http://tfl.nu/53yn
  Replies (2) Good night (203) Bad night (484)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.

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  (330): I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs. http://tfl.nu/h6wa
  Replies (3) Good night (219) Bad night (463) Order T-Shirt

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