I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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