We're like a lot better than the average bears
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
