She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize