doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
