My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i came on her dog
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
