Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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