Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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