She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
