All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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