I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
