the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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