Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
