I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
you made out with another girl for some wings
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
