So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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