it was like his penis was on wheels.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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